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Here are the answers to a few questions I receive on an alarmingly regular basis.

Q: Are you Puerto Rican?
No. I am Italian, Irish and German.

Q: You don't speak Spanish?
Shockingly, no. I took four years of Spanish in school and can barely converse with a toddler. I can speak a bit of Russian, but not enough that would be useful if I was suddenly dropped in the middle of Moscow.

Q: Are you married?
Definitely not. I have not yet found that 'special someone.' In other words, I haven't found that one person who doesn't bore me after more than a few months. Also, the only way I would seriously consider a marriage proposal was if he proposed to me with THIS.

Q: Do you have kids?
Emphatically, no. Nothing against kids, but I think that, for the most part, children are sticky and loud. I am also 90% sure I wouldn't be very good at parenting. It would be nice if kids came with a money-back guarantee.

Q: Do you live around here?

Q: Ninjas or pirates?
Ninjas. Hands down.

Any other prying questions you'd like the answers to?
Email me!